The day flew by and the darkness came. The wind of night chased the sun away and brought forth the moon and stars. The dark of night then covered the world in its shadow.
Seeing this, I called my eleven companions and we fled. We fled from evil Tyranny and fled towards distant Liberty. With weapons drawn, we ran to save our lives from their dooms.
We were outlaws, people thrown out and rejected by their own friends. We had done nothing, but wish for Liberty and not for Tyranny. This choice, I guess for I do not know, was the one for which we were expelled.
We were not only expelled, but also treated like beasts; we were hunted in the wild by the Tyrant’s demonic hunters. It was impossible for them to lose our trail. We took care not to leave one, but they stayed behind us. We had yet to see them, but each day we felt them closer. We ran on day and night, but they, tireless, got closer every weary step.
One night I felt my heart despair and wonder where this place of Liberty, if such a place existed, could be. Then, crying out with strong voices, we called out to the powerful gods and asked for aid on our endless quest. Suddenly before us stood the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. His holy raiment blinded us and we felt like dogs cowering at his feet.
“Do not worry or be afraid.” He said to us. “I will guide you to the place of liberty. You will follow my star, the one I placed in the sky to help such as you. You will be tireless as eagles and powerful as bears. Now take your things and follow me until we reach Liberty.”
My companions and I picked up our few things and off we ran following the glowing star of our glorious guide. Effortlessly and tirelessly we flew through the forest from dusk to dawn. Finally, as dawn came, we saw before us our destination.
We stood as people paralyzed for we were mesmerized by the beauty of Liberty. With a powerful and joyful yell, though none could tell where the energy came from, we ran into the place of liberty. I ran up to the surrounding wall and, looking out, I saw the demonic hunters leave in wrath back to Tyranny on the same path we had just traveled. I yelled in triumph and with my companions, celebrated the Lord of Hosts, our Guide and Shepherd.
Now I live in the place of Liberty still, and every day our numbers increase by others who come to Liberty from Tyranny. I now rejoice that all those people made a choice and chose Liberty and to be free from Tyranny. I also mourn for those who don’t make a choice, and cannot rejoice in the place of Liberty and in the presence of the Glorious Lamb. I give my praise with all the others to the Prince of Peace and Glorious King for my salvation and not my condemnation.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
The Ladder
In the land where dreams are formed I wandered. In all my wanderings I didn’t find anything that wasn’t supposed to be there. Well, at least until I found IT.
I’m talking about the ladder. Not just any ordinary ladder lying around in the grass, but the ladder. I found it standing in the middle of a large, green meadow. It grew up into the sky and seemed to never end. Its base was at least 20 feet wide and each rung seemed to be made out of solid gold. It shone though there wasn’t any sun to make it shine.
I stared at the amazing ladder for a very long time. I couldn’t figure out where it was going or even why it was there. Nothing seemed to happen around it. After a few days of just sitting and watching it, something finally happened.
A man dressed in ripped blue jeans, a red plaid button-up shirt, and sandals walked off the ladder shaking wood shavings off his clothes. At first he didn’t seem to notice me. I thought he would just keep walking and take no notice of a small sunburnt boy dressed in rags sitting in the deep grass.
To my great surprise, he turned and looked straight at me. I was expecting him to speak first, so I kept my mouth shut and stared at his face. His brown eyes stared at me lovingly and his mouth, partially hidden by his thick black beard, was smiling.
I sat there staring at him, expecting him to say the first words. Finally, I screwed up my courage and said, “Hi.”
“Hi.” He answered.
Proud with my little progress I asked, “Who are you?”
“I’m the maker and owner of the ladder.” He said matter-of-factly.
“How big is it?” I asked surprised that a single man could build something so big.
“It goes on forever.” He answered seriously.
Wide-eyed I said, “Really?”
“Yes.” He chuckled.
“Where does it go?”
“To my house.”
“Where’s that?”
“In the best place ever.”
Having satisfied my simple curiosity, I stood up to leave. When I got to my feet, I noticed that the man was still staring at me. I looked at him for a little while until I felt uncomfortable and sat down again.
He spoke, breaking the silence, “Do you want to climb it?”
I stared, if possible, with a mixed expression of extreme excitement and horrible terror. I nodded and walked very slowly to the bottom of the ladder. I still wasn’t sure if I really wanted to.
The man walked right up next to me. Unconsciously I stretched out my right hand and gripped his left hand. Then I reached up and took the first step onto the ladder. The man took the step at the same time, still holding onto my hand. Each step that followed the first got easier and easier. I kept my focus on the rung right in front of me...for a while, at least. Then I decided to look up.
The ladder stretched endlessly into the blackness above. I still couldn’t see the end. I started to lose heart and almost wanted to quit. I wasn’t expecting the ladder to be this big. Then I looked down. The meadow that the ladder had started on was just a little speck of green on the earth. I had made progress! Instead of being frightened by the height, I was elated I had climbed so far. I looked to my right and saw the man still there, holding my hand.
I started to climb again, feeling renewed. A little later, the rungs began to separate some. They got farther and farther from each other, making each step a stretch and a hardship. I still remembered the progress I had made, though, and I never gave up. The man stayed right next to me urging me on and holding my hand.
After a while, the rungs on the ladder finally got closer together again and I stopped to catch my breath. I glanced up and saw the ladder still going on forever into the blackness. I looked down and saw the same thing. I was suspended in space, alone and frightened. I felt someone squeeze my right hand and a calm voice singing reassuringly to me. I turned and saw the man still there, singing and holding my hand.
I started to climb again, and, before long, I began to see something at the end of the ladder. At first it was just a bright, bright star, but as I kept climbing I noticed it was a new world.
“Is that where you live?” I asked the man right next to me.
“Yes.” He answered with a smile. “You can live there with me.”
I smiled my biggest joyous smile and began to climb even faster, trying to reach that glorious world. I finally reached the end of the ladder and saw the splendor surrounding me. I couldn’t believe I was supposed to live here. I wasn’t worthy of it, but somehow I felt comfortable as if I was meant to live there. I fell on my knees still staring at everything surrounding me. The man walked up, now dressed in a billowing white robe, picked me up and hugged me.
“Well done,” He said happily. “Enter into the joy of your Lord.”
I’m talking about the ladder. Not just any ordinary ladder lying around in the grass, but the ladder. I found it standing in the middle of a large, green meadow. It grew up into the sky and seemed to never end. Its base was at least 20 feet wide and each rung seemed to be made out of solid gold. It shone though there wasn’t any sun to make it shine.
I stared at the amazing ladder for a very long time. I couldn’t figure out where it was going or even why it was there. Nothing seemed to happen around it. After a few days of just sitting and watching it, something finally happened.
A man dressed in ripped blue jeans, a red plaid button-up shirt, and sandals walked off the ladder shaking wood shavings off his clothes. At first he didn’t seem to notice me. I thought he would just keep walking and take no notice of a small sunburnt boy dressed in rags sitting in the deep grass.
To my great surprise, he turned and looked straight at me. I was expecting him to speak first, so I kept my mouth shut and stared at his face. His brown eyes stared at me lovingly and his mouth, partially hidden by his thick black beard, was smiling.
I sat there staring at him, expecting him to say the first words. Finally, I screwed up my courage and said, “Hi.”
“Hi.” He answered.
Proud with my little progress I asked, “Who are you?”
“I’m the maker and owner of the ladder.” He said matter-of-factly.
“How big is it?” I asked surprised that a single man could build something so big.
“It goes on forever.” He answered seriously.
Wide-eyed I said, “Really?”
“Yes.” He chuckled.
“Where does it go?”
“To my house.”
“Where’s that?”
“In the best place ever.”
Having satisfied my simple curiosity, I stood up to leave. When I got to my feet, I noticed that the man was still staring at me. I looked at him for a little while until I felt uncomfortable and sat down again.
He spoke, breaking the silence, “Do you want to climb it?”
I stared, if possible, with a mixed expression of extreme excitement and horrible terror. I nodded and walked very slowly to the bottom of the ladder. I still wasn’t sure if I really wanted to.
The man walked right up next to me. Unconsciously I stretched out my right hand and gripped his left hand. Then I reached up and took the first step onto the ladder. The man took the step at the same time, still holding onto my hand. Each step that followed the first got easier and easier. I kept my focus on the rung right in front of me...for a while, at least. Then I decided to look up.
The ladder stretched endlessly into the blackness above. I still couldn’t see the end. I started to lose heart and almost wanted to quit. I wasn’t expecting the ladder to be this big. Then I looked down. The meadow that the ladder had started on was just a little speck of green on the earth. I had made progress! Instead of being frightened by the height, I was elated I had climbed so far. I looked to my right and saw the man still there, holding my hand.
I started to climb again, feeling renewed. A little later, the rungs began to separate some. They got farther and farther from each other, making each step a stretch and a hardship. I still remembered the progress I had made, though, and I never gave up. The man stayed right next to me urging me on and holding my hand.
After a while, the rungs on the ladder finally got closer together again and I stopped to catch my breath. I glanced up and saw the ladder still going on forever into the blackness. I looked down and saw the same thing. I was suspended in space, alone and frightened. I felt someone squeeze my right hand and a calm voice singing reassuringly to me. I turned and saw the man still there, singing and holding my hand.
I started to climb again, and, before long, I began to see something at the end of the ladder. At first it was just a bright, bright star, but as I kept climbing I noticed it was a new world.
“Is that where you live?” I asked the man right next to me.
“Yes.” He answered with a smile. “You can live there with me.”
I smiled my biggest joyous smile and began to climb even faster, trying to reach that glorious world. I finally reached the end of the ladder and saw the splendor surrounding me. I couldn’t believe I was supposed to live here. I wasn’t worthy of it, but somehow I felt comfortable as if I was meant to live there. I fell on my knees still staring at everything surrounding me. The man walked up, now dressed in a billowing white robe, picked me up and hugged me.
“Well done,” He said happily. “Enter into the joy of your Lord.”
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Path to Healing
It was a warm summer day. Not one of those hot days where you can hardly stand to be outside, but one of those warm, comfortable days that make you want to sit out on the porch with a big glass of iced tea. In fact, that’s exactly what I was doing. I’d finished my chores for the morning and was enjoying some leisurely time off dozing in my hammock on the porch. Of course, something this good couldn’t last.
“Daniel!” came the cry from inside the old farmhouse.
“What?” I yelled back annoyed.
“I need you to run some errands for me!” It was my mother calling from the kitchen.
“Why do I have to?” I asked without moving. “Can’t Jon go?”
“Because your brother is already doing what I asked him to do!” came the frustrated reply.
“Fine!” I grumbled.
Grudgingly I got out of the hammock and downed the rest of the lemon iced tea is one huge gulp. I stalked off towards the kitchen resigned to having a bad day. I opened the kitchen door and was assaulted by a blast of searing hot air. Oh, right. I remembered. It’s Tuesday. That means it’s baking day.
“There you are. Finally!” my mother exclaimed at my entrance. “I need you to run to town for some stuff.”
“What and how much?” I asked in a sing song voice.
My mother gave me a look that said more than words could. “I need three pounds of flour, a dozen eggs, and a pound of sugar.” Did I mention that my mom loves baking a little too much?
“Fine.” I said. “Can I at least take the truck?”
My mother gave me another one of those looks as she handed me some money. I guess the truck’s not an option. I thought. I spun lazily around and stumbled out of the kitchen become oven.
I went up to my room and pulled on my sneakers. I hated the idea of walking into town in these, but they were all I had. I was going to get teased for this in school. Again. I shrugged. What did it matter what other people thought anyway? I may not be a challenge for any of them (including the girls) physically, but intellectually I was an olympian among first graders. At least that’s what it felt like. If my school had any AP classes or if they would let me skip grades, I would be in college by now. I only went to school because I had to.
I took off walking down the road. It was so hot I almost thought I saw the road boiling at one point. I shook my head and attributed it to the heat messing with my head. The town was only about five minutes away by car, but walking it was at least three times that. The sun was beating down on my the whole time, but my tanned skin didn’t even register it. Living on a farm has its benefits.
I reached town without incident. Well, when I say without incident I mean without anything new. A group of seniors drove by and threw insults my way, but that’s old news. It’s been like that since my mom decided I couldn’t be home-schooled anymore. I was too smart for her to handle. I learned too fast for her to catch up. She used those excuses when she said she needed to send me to the public school. I believed those excuses, but not the solution.
I walked through the doors of the grocery store, old sneakers squeaking on the immaculate tile. My head was down, hair covering my eyes. I didn’t see anyone because I wasn’t looking. Oops. My mistake.
“Hey, boys! It’s Danny!” a voice I knew too well sounded from my left.
“How you doin’ there, Danny?” the condescending question was pointed in my direction.
“I was doing just fine, Dale.” I spat.
“Hey!” Dale said with fake hurt. “There’s no need to give me that kind of attitude.”
“You sound like my mother.” I muttered.
“What’s that?” Dale glared. “I didn’t quite catch that.”
“Oh, nothing!” I said mockingly innocent. “It was filled with big words anyway. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Are you calling me stupid?” Dale growled, grabbing me by the collar of my T-shirt. “‘Cuz if you are, it might not end so well for you, Danny-boy.”
“I wouldn’t dare call you stupid, Dale.” I said out loud. Under my breath I added, “At least not to your face. You know what that means.”
“Good call, Danny.” he said putting me back on the ground. To the rest of his gang of football-playing gorillas he said, “Let’s go, boys!”
I waited until they’d all pushed past me before fixing my T-shirt. Then I went to find the ingredients for my mother. I found them easily enough and went back to the front. As I handed the cashier the money, he started up a conversation.
“You all right there, Dan?” You’ve got to love a small town.
“Yeah.” I answered. “Happens all the time.”
“You shouldn’t let yourself get pushed around like that!” He insisted.
“Like I don’t know that, Mark!” I snapped.
“Hey, chill.” Mark said calmly. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ll tell you what. It’s just about the end of my shift. Why don’t I give you a ride home?”
“Nah, I’ll be fine. You don’t have to...” I waved him off.
“It’s no problem. Your house is on my way. I insist.”
“Fine.” I groaned.
Here’s a little background on how I met Mark. Not everyone at school dislikes me. Mark is the one who doesn’t. He’s a senior, just like Dale, but he took a liking to me the day I set foot in that school. Mark is also a football player and could probably beat up the rest of the team single handed. He’s popular, smart, and kind. The girls love him. In fact, I’m surprised he doesn’t have a girlfriend. The problem is that he likes to defend me. I have no idea why. I guess it’s his call if he wants to hang with a loser like me or not.
Anyway, I got in Mark’s pick-up and we headed down the road. I pointedly ignored him and kept my eyes on the floor. We drove in silence for a while, keeping to ourselves. Then Mark broke the silence.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“I was just thinking about why you hang out with me.” I said looking up at him. I was surprised to see tears forming in his eyes. I quickly added, “If you don’t want to talk about it it’s OK.”
“No.” he said firmly. “You’ve got a right to know. I’ve kept Dale and his goons away from you for the past year for a reason. You’re smart, and I know how that is. I was sort of like you in middle school.”
I stared in shock. “You? That’s impossible.”
“No it’s not.” He said shaking his head. “I was the nerd in middle school. I wasn’t tall or strong. In fact, I was the shortest and weakest kid there. Everyone picked on me. All I had to fight with was my brain. I got straight As on everything. I would sit in my room and read all afternoon during the school year. I didn’t have any friends.
“Then came high school. The teasing in middle school had driven me crazy. I had a short temper and blew up every time someone even mentioned teasing me. It got really bad. I finally tried to convince my parents to take me out of school, but with both of them working full time, it wouldn’t have worked.
“So I found different ways of taking it out on the guys who picked on me. I tried to do something to hurt them back. I had a plan in place, but I left it out of my sight for an instant and a teacher saw it. He took it and asked me to see him in his office after class. I was spooked. My plan might’ve even broken some laws.
“Anyway, I talked with him about what was going on. He offered to help me stop people from bullying me. I was reluctant to accept his help, but finally did. I broke down and told him the whole story. Over the next couple of months, he helped me walk through everything and get a grip on myself.”
“Did it work?” I asked curious.
“Yeah.” Mark smiled. “It worked all right. It didn’t hurt that I grew almost four inches between my sophomore and junior year either.” He chuckled. “That took the football players by surprise. You should’ve seen their faces begging me to join the team. It was almost hysterical.”
As we began pulling into the driveway of my house, Mark said, “Dan, I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. Let me give you a piece of advice. Don’t lash out. Forgive. The guys who tease and bully you probably have it rough out there somewhere. This is their way of taking it out. Don’t follow their example. There are better ways of getting rid of that frustration. Do something with it. Write it out; draw it; I don’t know. Don’t keep it bottled up inside. One day it’ll blow up and you could get yourself in trouble.”
I stared down at the dashboard. I knew that what Mark was saying made sense. I just couldn’t bring myself to figure out how to deal with it. I didn’t have any skills but my brain to use. What could I do to let out the anger I felt toward Dale and company?
“Actually, I have an idea.” Mark said, interrupting my thoughts. He reached around behind him and rummaged through the backseat. “Here.” he said handing me an old beat up notebook. “This was my way of letting it out. Go ahead. Read it. Maybe you’ll get an idea from it. I’ll warn you, it’s not pretty handwriting, but it’s legible.”
I took it reverently. “Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“You’re welcome.” Mark smiled again. “You know what? Keep it. I don’t need it back. Maybe it’ll help you help someone else in the future.”
“You sure?” I asked.
“Positive. Now get those ingredients to your mom.”
I looked down at the notebook and back up at Mark smiling. “You bet!”
I stepped out of the truck and waited until he’d backed out and started driving away before walking inside. I cradled the notebook like a newborn baby and lugged the ingredients to my mother. When I got to the kitchen, I took a deep breath, ready for the blast of hot air coming my way. My mom looked up when I opened the door.
“Who was that who drove you home?” she asked.
“A guy from school.” I said. “A friend.”
“That was nice of him.” She said.
I nodded and handed her the goods. I refilled my cup of iced tea and walked out to the front porch glass in one hand, notebook in the other. Once I got settled in the hammock, I opened the crisp pages. Mark’s name was the only thing on the first page. I turned the page and started reading.
“It was a warm sunny day.” it began. I smiled and read the rest of the notebook.
That was what got me started on the path to healing. I hope it’s the same for you, whoever you are. The advice Mark gave me was the best I’d received in a long time. Listen to it. It’s solid.
“Daniel!” came the cry from inside the old farmhouse.
“What?” I yelled back annoyed.
“I need you to run some errands for me!” It was my mother calling from the kitchen.
“Why do I have to?” I asked without moving. “Can’t Jon go?”
“Because your brother is already doing what I asked him to do!” came the frustrated reply.
“Fine!” I grumbled.
Grudgingly I got out of the hammock and downed the rest of the lemon iced tea is one huge gulp. I stalked off towards the kitchen resigned to having a bad day. I opened the kitchen door and was assaulted by a blast of searing hot air. Oh, right. I remembered. It’s Tuesday. That means it’s baking day.
“There you are. Finally!” my mother exclaimed at my entrance. “I need you to run to town for some stuff.”
“What and how much?” I asked in a sing song voice.
My mother gave me a look that said more than words could. “I need three pounds of flour, a dozen eggs, and a pound of sugar.” Did I mention that my mom loves baking a little too much?
“Fine.” I said. “Can I at least take the truck?”
My mother gave me another one of those looks as she handed me some money. I guess the truck’s not an option. I thought. I spun lazily around and stumbled out of the kitchen become oven.
I went up to my room and pulled on my sneakers. I hated the idea of walking into town in these, but they were all I had. I was going to get teased for this in school. Again. I shrugged. What did it matter what other people thought anyway? I may not be a challenge for any of them (including the girls) physically, but intellectually I was an olympian among first graders. At least that’s what it felt like. If my school had any AP classes or if they would let me skip grades, I would be in college by now. I only went to school because I had to.
I took off walking down the road. It was so hot I almost thought I saw the road boiling at one point. I shook my head and attributed it to the heat messing with my head. The town was only about five minutes away by car, but walking it was at least three times that. The sun was beating down on my the whole time, but my tanned skin didn’t even register it. Living on a farm has its benefits.
I reached town without incident. Well, when I say without incident I mean without anything new. A group of seniors drove by and threw insults my way, but that’s old news. It’s been like that since my mom decided I couldn’t be home-schooled anymore. I was too smart for her to handle. I learned too fast for her to catch up. She used those excuses when she said she needed to send me to the public school. I believed those excuses, but not the solution.
I walked through the doors of the grocery store, old sneakers squeaking on the immaculate tile. My head was down, hair covering my eyes. I didn’t see anyone because I wasn’t looking. Oops. My mistake.
“Hey, boys! It’s Danny!” a voice I knew too well sounded from my left.
“How you doin’ there, Danny?” the condescending question was pointed in my direction.
“I was doing just fine, Dale.” I spat.
“Hey!” Dale said with fake hurt. “There’s no need to give me that kind of attitude.”
“You sound like my mother.” I muttered.
“What’s that?” Dale glared. “I didn’t quite catch that.”
“Oh, nothing!” I said mockingly innocent. “It was filled with big words anyway. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Are you calling me stupid?” Dale growled, grabbing me by the collar of my T-shirt. “‘Cuz if you are, it might not end so well for you, Danny-boy.”
“I wouldn’t dare call you stupid, Dale.” I said out loud. Under my breath I added, “At least not to your face. You know what that means.”
“Good call, Danny.” he said putting me back on the ground. To the rest of his gang of football-playing gorillas he said, “Let’s go, boys!”
I waited until they’d all pushed past me before fixing my T-shirt. Then I went to find the ingredients for my mother. I found them easily enough and went back to the front. As I handed the cashier the money, he started up a conversation.
“You all right there, Dan?” You’ve got to love a small town.
“Yeah.” I answered. “Happens all the time.”
“You shouldn’t let yourself get pushed around like that!” He insisted.
“Like I don’t know that, Mark!” I snapped.
“Hey, chill.” Mark said calmly. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ll tell you what. It’s just about the end of my shift. Why don’t I give you a ride home?”
“Nah, I’ll be fine. You don’t have to...” I waved him off.
“It’s no problem. Your house is on my way. I insist.”
“Fine.” I groaned.
Here’s a little background on how I met Mark. Not everyone at school dislikes me. Mark is the one who doesn’t. He’s a senior, just like Dale, but he took a liking to me the day I set foot in that school. Mark is also a football player and could probably beat up the rest of the team single handed. He’s popular, smart, and kind. The girls love him. In fact, I’m surprised he doesn’t have a girlfriend. The problem is that he likes to defend me. I have no idea why. I guess it’s his call if he wants to hang with a loser like me or not.
Anyway, I got in Mark’s pick-up and we headed down the road. I pointedly ignored him and kept my eyes on the floor. We drove in silence for a while, keeping to ourselves. Then Mark broke the silence.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“I was just thinking about why you hang out with me.” I said looking up at him. I was surprised to see tears forming in his eyes. I quickly added, “If you don’t want to talk about it it’s OK.”
“No.” he said firmly. “You’ve got a right to know. I’ve kept Dale and his goons away from you for the past year for a reason. You’re smart, and I know how that is. I was sort of like you in middle school.”
I stared in shock. “You? That’s impossible.”
“No it’s not.” He said shaking his head. “I was the nerd in middle school. I wasn’t tall or strong. In fact, I was the shortest and weakest kid there. Everyone picked on me. All I had to fight with was my brain. I got straight As on everything. I would sit in my room and read all afternoon during the school year. I didn’t have any friends.
“Then came high school. The teasing in middle school had driven me crazy. I had a short temper and blew up every time someone even mentioned teasing me. It got really bad. I finally tried to convince my parents to take me out of school, but with both of them working full time, it wouldn’t have worked.
“So I found different ways of taking it out on the guys who picked on me. I tried to do something to hurt them back. I had a plan in place, but I left it out of my sight for an instant and a teacher saw it. He took it and asked me to see him in his office after class. I was spooked. My plan might’ve even broken some laws.
“Anyway, I talked with him about what was going on. He offered to help me stop people from bullying me. I was reluctant to accept his help, but finally did. I broke down and told him the whole story. Over the next couple of months, he helped me walk through everything and get a grip on myself.”
“Did it work?” I asked curious.
“Yeah.” Mark smiled. “It worked all right. It didn’t hurt that I grew almost four inches between my sophomore and junior year either.” He chuckled. “That took the football players by surprise. You should’ve seen their faces begging me to join the team. It was almost hysterical.”
As we began pulling into the driveway of my house, Mark said, “Dan, I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. Let me give you a piece of advice. Don’t lash out. Forgive. The guys who tease and bully you probably have it rough out there somewhere. This is their way of taking it out. Don’t follow their example. There are better ways of getting rid of that frustration. Do something with it. Write it out; draw it; I don’t know. Don’t keep it bottled up inside. One day it’ll blow up and you could get yourself in trouble.”
I stared down at the dashboard. I knew that what Mark was saying made sense. I just couldn’t bring myself to figure out how to deal with it. I didn’t have any skills but my brain to use. What could I do to let out the anger I felt toward Dale and company?
“Actually, I have an idea.” Mark said, interrupting my thoughts. He reached around behind him and rummaged through the backseat. “Here.” he said handing me an old beat up notebook. “This was my way of letting it out. Go ahead. Read it. Maybe you’ll get an idea from it. I’ll warn you, it’s not pretty handwriting, but it’s legible.”
I took it reverently. “Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“You’re welcome.” Mark smiled again. “You know what? Keep it. I don’t need it back. Maybe it’ll help you help someone else in the future.”
“You sure?” I asked.
“Positive. Now get those ingredients to your mom.”
I looked down at the notebook and back up at Mark smiling. “You bet!”
I stepped out of the truck and waited until he’d backed out and started driving away before walking inside. I cradled the notebook like a newborn baby and lugged the ingredients to my mother. When I got to the kitchen, I took a deep breath, ready for the blast of hot air coming my way. My mom looked up when I opened the door.
“Who was that who drove you home?” she asked.
“A guy from school.” I said. “A friend.”
“That was nice of him.” She said.
I nodded and handed her the goods. I refilled my cup of iced tea and walked out to the front porch glass in one hand, notebook in the other. Once I got settled in the hammock, I opened the crisp pages. Mark’s name was the only thing on the first page. I turned the page and started reading.
“It was a warm sunny day.” it began. I smiled and read the rest of the notebook.
That was what got me started on the path to healing. I hope it’s the same for you, whoever you are. The advice Mark gave me was the best I’d received in a long time. Listen to it. It’s solid.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
A Peasant's Day
The man woke up before the sun had come up yet. He got out of his creaking and rusty bed and went to the small kitchenette in his room. He fixed himself some oatmeal, the same as always, and ate it quickly. After breakfast, he got dressed into his worn woolen clothes and straw hat, kissed his sleeping wife goodbye, and left the rustic hut that he called home.
He walked out to the shed and got his old tools. He tied them into a bundle with an old length of rope then left for his field. When he got there, he undid the bundle of tools and chose a long handled hoe. Then, he walked up and down the rows of plants he was growing slamming his hoe into the ground. As he did this, his bare feet stepped on jagged stones and sticks, cutting them. He did not feel anything because of the large calluses on them.
Later in the day, around ten o’clock, he took off his loose woolen shirt revealing his bulging muscles. His dark, suntanned skin rippled with every swing of the hoe into the ground. His face and back were wet with sweat but still he kept swinging.
Throughout the morning his young daughter would bring him a large thermos of lemonade. Each time he drank with renewed thirst and returned the thermos empty after one long draught. Each time he hugged and thanked his daughter sending her back home with a kiss.
At about noon, his wife came to the field carrying a small basket: his lunch. He smiled and walked over to the edge of the field and plopped down on the ground next to his wife breathing heavily. His hands were red because of the constant rubbing with the hoe’s wooden handle. His scarred feet were red with blood.
He tore into his food with a relish unseen before. His wife watched him, smiling faintly. He finished his food quickly and then smiled at his wife and thanked her. He didn’t know what he would do without her. He kissed her passionately then sent her home to fix lunch for the rest of the family as her eyes twinkled.
Later, at about two o’clock, his two sons came home from school. They changed quickly and joined him in the field. Each of them grabbed a rusted spade from the pile of tools and joined their father in the field. All three of them weeded the plants, watered them, and fertilized them with cow manure they bought cheaply from their neighbor.
At sunset, the three men returned to the house exhausted by their labor. The man greeted his wife with a great hug and kiss and his older daughter in the same way. The whole family sat down at the wooden plank that they called a table and ate a large dinner. The man and his sons were famished and devoured their food quickly.
After dinner, they lit the one kerosene lamp they had in the house and the two boys worked on their homework for the next day. The daughters and mother lit a candle and washed the dinner dishes. The man sat in the only chair in the house and smoked his pipe for a while.
Soon, the whole family went to the two bedrooms: Mother and Father in one and children in the other, and went to bed. The man snored loudly during the night in anticipation of another day of work. Such is the life of a peasant.
He walked out to the shed and got his old tools. He tied them into a bundle with an old length of rope then left for his field. When he got there, he undid the bundle of tools and chose a long handled hoe. Then, he walked up and down the rows of plants he was growing slamming his hoe into the ground. As he did this, his bare feet stepped on jagged stones and sticks, cutting them. He did not feel anything because of the large calluses on them.
Later in the day, around ten o’clock, he took off his loose woolen shirt revealing his bulging muscles. His dark, suntanned skin rippled with every swing of the hoe into the ground. His face and back were wet with sweat but still he kept swinging.
Throughout the morning his young daughter would bring him a large thermos of lemonade. Each time he drank with renewed thirst and returned the thermos empty after one long draught. Each time he hugged and thanked his daughter sending her back home with a kiss.
At about noon, his wife came to the field carrying a small basket: his lunch. He smiled and walked over to the edge of the field and plopped down on the ground next to his wife breathing heavily. His hands were red because of the constant rubbing with the hoe’s wooden handle. His scarred feet were red with blood.
He tore into his food with a relish unseen before. His wife watched him, smiling faintly. He finished his food quickly and then smiled at his wife and thanked her. He didn’t know what he would do without her. He kissed her passionately then sent her home to fix lunch for the rest of the family as her eyes twinkled.
Later, at about two o’clock, his two sons came home from school. They changed quickly and joined him in the field. Each of them grabbed a rusted spade from the pile of tools and joined their father in the field. All three of them weeded the plants, watered them, and fertilized them with cow manure they bought cheaply from their neighbor.
At sunset, the three men returned to the house exhausted by their labor. The man greeted his wife with a great hug and kiss and his older daughter in the same way. The whole family sat down at the wooden plank that they called a table and ate a large dinner. The man and his sons were famished and devoured their food quickly.
After dinner, they lit the one kerosene lamp they had in the house and the two boys worked on their homework for the next day. The daughters and mother lit a candle and washed the dinner dishes. The man sat in the only chair in the house and smoked his pipe for a while.
Soon, the whole family went to the two bedrooms: Mother and Father in one and children in the other, and went to bed. The man snored loudly during the night in anticipation of another day of work. Such is the life of a peasant.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Memoirs of a Pair of Sneakers
Oh no! Please, don’t! Don’t throw me out! I may be all torn up and may not fit anymore, but, please don’t get rid of me. Remember all the good times that we had. Remember all the things we did together. All the sports and walking we did. Let me refresh your memory a little.
Remember that basketball tournament last year? I helped you run around that court faster than anyone else. I helped you win all those rebounds. I helped you score that winning three-point shot. We felt so ecstatic after that. I helped you jump around and celebrate the victory. After the game, I helped you run out to your mom’s car and go to the restaurant with your teammates. We had a lot of fun, and the mustard you spilt on me will help me remember that day forever.
Remember the day we went hiking in the woods with your family? Your brother fell in the river and everyone rushed to help him. Thanks to me, you were the first one there. I helped you steady yourself along a tree while your brother held onto a branch you handed him. Then I helped you use your legs to pull him out of that raging river. Your dad was so proud of us that day. The small tear I got while helping you out will remind me of that day forever.
Remember the rock climbing you did in the state park? When you were half way up the wall, your hands slipped. I didn’t, though. I held onto the grooves in the rock and helped you pull yourself back up to the wall and get to the top. We felt great there, didn’t we? My broken laces will remind me of that time for a long time.
Remember the track meet we had last fall? We ran the hundred-yard dash. We had trained hard for almost five months before for this meet. When the time came, we dashed out when the bang came and crossed the finish line in first place. We felt like we were walking on clouds that day. My worn out soles will remind me of that great victory for years to come.
Remember that summer afternoon a couple of weeks ago? We went out with your girlfriend and took a walk on the beach. We decided to race her. In the middle of the race, she fell and twisted her ankle. I helped you carry her to her house. She thanked you and gave you a kiss. That was glorious, wasn’t it? The sand in me will help me remember that always.
See? We did a lot of things together. I helped you every time you needed a little push. Now you want to throw me away? Why? What else could I have done? I did everything you wanted. I may be worn out, and falling apart, but at least keep me because of the memories I hold. I’m only an old pair of sneakers that don’t seem to fit anymore in your dreams and memories.
Remember that basketball tournament last year? I helped you run around that court faster than anyone else. I helped you win all those rebounds. I helped you score that winning three-point shot. We felt so ecstatic after that. I helped you jump around and celebrate the victory. After the game, I helped you run out to your mom’s car and go to the restaurant with your teammates. We had a lot of fun, and the mustard you spilt on me will help me remember that day forever.
Remember the day we went hiking in the woods with your family? Your brother fell in the river and everyone rushed to help him. Thanks to me, you were the first one there. I helped you steady yourself along a tree while your brother held onto a branch you handed him. Then I helped you use your legs to pull him out of that raging river. Your dad was so proud of us that day. The small tear I got while helping you out will remind me of that day forever.
Remember the rock climbing you did in the state park? When you were half way up the wall, your hands slipped. I didn’t, though. I held onto the grooves in the rock and helped you pull yourself back up to the wall and get to the top. We felt great there, didn’t we? My broken laces will remind me of that time for a long time.
Remember the track meet we had last fall? We ran the hundred-yard dash. We had trained hard for almost five months before for this meet. When the time came, we dashed out when the bang came and crossed the finish line in first place. We felt like we were walking on clouds that day. My worn out soles will remind me of that great victory for years to come.
Remember that summer afternoon a couple of weeks ago? We went out with your girlfriend and took a walk on the beach. We decided to race her. In the middle of the race, she fell and twisted her ankle. I helped you carry her to her house. She thanked you and gave you a kiss. That was glorious, wasn’t it? The sand in me will help me remember that always.
See? We did a lot of things together. I helped you every time you needed a little push. Now you want to throw me away? Why? What else could I have done? I did everything you wanted. I may be worn out, and falling apart, but at least keep me because of the memories I hold. I’m only an old pair of sneakers that don’t seem to fit anymore in your dreams and memories.
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